Written by: Alejandro Valadez
My name is Esther Hernandez. My life has been hard at times and easy at others. I was born in San Julian, Jalisco which is where I spent a lot of my youth, when I wasn’t migrating to other places. I am the last born of five children. I have three brothers which are Miguel, Rafael, and Javier with one sister whose name is Belen. Of all of them Belen is the oldest and I would spend much of my time with her when I was young. My parents are Angel Hernandez who is currently ninety three years old and my mother’s name is Esther like myself and she is in her late seventies.
Growing up was a little bit hard for me for we would move a lot. When I was young my father would go to the United States to work in the fields at many points and I ended up going one of those times. I passed illegally but would later be able to get a U.S. passport as a child before coming back to Jalisco before the age of six. We would return to San Julian but it wasn’t long before my father purchased some land a couple of kilometers from San Julian and made a house there, which is where we moved to next. Growing up in the new house would turn out to be hard at times. I would have to go to school walking more than two kilometers away and sometimes had to take the bus early, which was when I stayed at mi sister’s house. I could say that I basically had two houses as I spent half of the time at my sister’s house and the other half at my parent's. By the time I was at school basically all of my brothers and sisters had gotten married already. At the ranch I could play with dolls, look at the animals, and play tag. My father had cows, chickens, pigs and he would plant a lot of things, and over the years of hard work, he would buy more land in other places as well.
I really didn’t have it hard to live since my parents had almost everything settled by the time I was born and I only had to go illegally to the United States once. My siblings were the ones that had it the hardest for they had to struggle a lot more with the moving and sometimes the lack of resources as my parents weren’t rich and my dad constantly went to work in the fields in Mexico and in the United States. I remember my dad telling me a story about what he would do at work and also that he could buy bread in Mexico for one peso and that just by crossing the border the price for that same piece of bread would be three pesos.
My memories of school are not that good. I got through primary school and would not continue to go to middle school or high school because I chose not to and it’s a decision that I came to regret. My father wanted me to go to school. And even thought I did not really get far I was be the one in my family who got the farthest. At school they taught us to read and write, but schools back then in the country-side were not that good. I remember my dad going to pick me up from school every single day and coming home to eat.
After the age of six I would travel back and forth from the ranch in Jalisco to the United States. I would spend a couple of months here and a couple there with my mom for we would come to the United States to visit my brother Miguel who migrated to the U.S. after getting married. There I saw a lot of difference from the ranch as things here where different; at the ranch there wasn’t really a bathroom; you would just go to el llano (the plains) when you had to. But the most memorable times in Jalisco at my young age were the many fiestas that occurred. Some were in December and others went from January to February and even in March.
It wasn’t until I got married at the age of eighteen to my husband Jose that I would migrate to the United States permanently. I have been in the United States for twenty-three years now and have had six children. I have three boys by the names of Fabian, Alejandro and Adriel, and also three girls by the names of Brenda, Yasmin and Ariella. Coming to America was hard for me, not because of the need of money or something else, but because I would miss the ranch, the pueblo, my friends, parents and other family that I always had in Mexico. I had never really been separated from my sister or mother before. When we came to live over here we passed legally and my husband already had a house rented and a job at a flower shop. It was hard for me as I said before but at the same time, many people that I knew, including my brother Miguel, lived in the city of Hayward, which is where we moved to.
In the United Stated I had it hard at first for I basically stayed at the house all day waiting for my husband to come home. I had nothing to do and we would basically just stay at the house and maybe go out on weekends. In Mexico if I wanted to go somewhere I could and it was easy to go out and there were many places to go and many things to do on the ranch, and that is something that I came to miss. It wasn’t until my second year in the United States that I would not have to stay alone in the house while my husband was at work and that was because of the birth of my first-born Fabian. It wouldn’t be until the summer of 1989, when my second child Alejandro was born, that we would be able to go back to Mexico on a three week vacation in which I was able to visit my parents and brothers and my sister again. However, we never lost touch when I was in the United States because I would keep in touch with letters and later on by calling. We started traveling to Mexico every single summer after that since my husband now had a better job, which was stable and paid better. That combined with having papers and being able to go and come back without a danger of needing a coyote would make it easier.
I think that it is wrong for there to be so many laws that discriminate against Mexicans and other Latinos here. I don’t know why they don’t allow Mexicans to be here in peace without the constant fear of the migra if they come here to work and to better their standard of living and eventually end up wanting the American Dream. I mean most Mexicans come here and do the jobs that no one really wants to do, so why not allow them to be here safely and to not have to risk their lives crossing the border?
I never really had to work here until I reached the age of thirty when I started working on an assembly line. Since I have no education it is one of the best jobs I can get and that’s why I regret not continuing schools and why I like that my children are all going to college and getting an education. In the early years of coming here to America, if given the decision to go back to Jalisco to live, I would have been happy and would have gone for it, for life is simpler in Mexico. But as the years have passed, if given the decision today, I would most likely say no for many reasons. One is that I have become accustomed to the life in the United States and the other which is probably the most important: my children. My children have lived here all there life and wouldn’t go live in Mexico anymore for three are going to college, one is working, another in high school and the youngest about to start middle school. Like I said before, the hardest thing for me about leaving Mexico was leaving my parents and siblings behind and I don’t really want to do it again with my older children. Although I do still miss my parents and siblings who live in Jalisco.